Can you tell I work in Texas by the kind of FW spam I get? I do love this one though--anything that combines history, idealogy and beer merits a look-see from me.
For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version: Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1) Liberals……………………….2) Conservatives……………….
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. Those became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off. And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true nature……………………………………………………
Until Today, I didn't have a cold.
Until Today, Soren was 12 and I was going to make him a carrot cake.
Until Today, there was no snow on the fake cranes.
Until Today, I had never seen a note to Santa that had the audacity to ask if HE had been good this year (there's a space for him to answer) or cookies laid out for him that already had bites taken.
Until Today, I haven't said Merry Christmas to all of you!
Some of the people Cyler does business with are from Ghana, and are specifically Akan. I am preparing to have them for dinner and so I am doing research--food, customs, collective unconscious stuff. (Am I weird in that I want to know what someone thinks about God so I can cook them a good meal?)
Ms. Bankhead, the last of the Southern Belles, said that "only good girls keep diaries-bad girls never have the time." I don't know about being bad but I certainly have been busy. Friday I was busy being sick and missing Ellery's Christmas Tea. Saturday I was busy getting ready for a house showing and birthday shopping for Soren. Sunday I was busy at my first pro football game, eating LARGE shrimp and talking about Abu Dhabi and horses with the owner of Derr Steel. And now Monday finds me here at work with no pics to show for any of it. Tonight we are exchanging Secret Santa gifts for FHE (family home evening), and then I get to see my Trophy club girlfriends for a bit. Are we all done with Christmas shopping? hah.
Miss the train and have to drive to downtown Dallas.
Z' Menu:
Z' Desserts:
Good company. Trivial Pursuit. Aggies and Longhorns game. I'm still full.
Who wants to make food for the family while busy making Thanksgiving preparations? Try this recipe. It's quick, hearty, meatless and is a great foil for T-day.
I sat and made love to a waffle cone.
Someday we would like to try the water park. That huge bucket on top dumps water on peeps down below. What a fun place to have a family reunion (hint, hint, Dad) But it is expensive-any takers, Ence-side of the family?
I wonder if that is why Cyler is ok with this on our lawn instead of a bunch of leaves.
Soren made this for us and it was "one of those nights." So we just stood around the island (get it? Island Tacos?) and assembled tacos to our hearts' content.
For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version: Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
The best thing we did is to focus on how fun it is to do music and when some nervousness comes, just sing to Dad in the audience. It worked and she had a good first time.
